Life

I am sitting here trying to work, but realizing I just can't get my mind off of Gladys. Monday the ventilator was removed and she is currently breathing on her own, which is great! I keep waiting for her to sit up and tell us "Slainte" which is gaelic for cheers, or "go to hell and get me out of this stupid hospital", but the likelihood of either happening is slim to none.

Her brainwaves tested normal with her first EEG, but the doctor told us, that monitors brain activity, not necessarily brain function. If that makes any sense. I guess in layman's terms (did I spell that right?), he is saying that brain activity doesn't necessarily mean that it will function like it did before she fell and of course the second EEG came back abnormal, which is worse news and brings me to my thought.

The week before Gladys fell, I remember telling her I would see her in two weeks (my dad's colon cancer surgery was that coming Thursday). I had no idea that when I returned from San Diego, I would be rushing to the ER that night. It was so strange...one minute everything is okay and the next...well, you're fighting for your life. Gladys is like family to me, so the pain runs deep, like it would with anyone you are close to.

This whole thing got me thinking though. It reminded me that I don't live life enough, that I don't experience enough and that I don't pursue my dreams at a rapid pace like I should...instead it's like a window seat on a bus or a train and I am just watching as the scenery or in my case, my life, passes me by.

I know Gladys is 87, but she is a strong 87 and so this was something we were all sure she would come out of. In those 87 years though, she saw the world, married two great men (peppi died in 1979 of cancer...she met Laura's dad a number of years later and they married in 1989 (?)), worked for another great man, was involved in the LASPCA, The French Foundation, the West (?) Food Bank, etc. She kept busy and she made everyday count.

I know now that I need to do the same. I am still hoping that she wakes up and tells us all to get her the hell out of that hospital, but in the mean time I will be making plans to do things I believe in and want to be a part of.

Remember, be a part of the scenery, not the one watching it go by...

Gladys is the one in the middle of Laura (in red) and Aunt Jackie (white hair). Christmas 2007